And what are you doing here?
by Niko1
Summary: The Fellowship seems to be stuck in our world! Meghan and Casey are trying to deal with them and not get KILLED. NO falling in love with chars!**Chap13! The unlucky number! GASP! More pseudio-drama! Legolas screws up! And a promise to the loyal readers.
1. Default Chapter

Right! There will be lots and lots of LOTR in this, just for now sit through the intro!  
  
I'm co-writing this with my friend Casey, and I wrote this first bit. Casey will come in later to help! Yay! If you wanna check out her other story, find it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1157598&chapter=1  
  
Whee! Read on! The story begins... (DUH DUH DUUUn!)  
  
  
  
It was a hot, lazy, late July afternoon. Outside the sun was shining brightly and heating the pavement to the point where, not only could you have fried an egg on it, you could have done some toast and bacon along with it.  
  
In a front of a house there was evidence that someone had gotten curious and tried just that, minus the bacon and toast, and the remainders of a desiccated-looking egg were lying forlornly in the middle of the road, probably fated to be run over by a car at some point.  
  
All of that, however, was of no matter to the two very bored girls lounging in the basement of the house the egg was lying in front of. The two girls were, to put it quite bluntly, bored out of their minds.  
  
Meghan was lolling on the sofa, staring avidly at nothing in particular and humming an odd little tuneless song, and Casey was trying her hardest to ignore her little brother. He had poked his colossally irritating face in the door and was going on about wanting her and her friend out so he could watch Spiderman with his friend. She wondered why he was going on and wished he would either shut the hell up or get away from her-either one was good. Wordlessly, Meghan got up, walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek, which evicted the usual response-he ran away screaming, presumably to go wash his face. Patrick hated Meghan, and probably all girls, being at "that age," a fact for which Meghan was profoundly thankful.  
  
Casey giggled a bit, then flopped off the couch. "Wanna watch Moulin Rouge?" She asked.  
  
"Again?"  
  
"It's Ewan. How can you not want to watch him sing? He's so pretty!"  
  
"Um..." Meghan fell off the couch, and was promptly licked to death by Casey's very friendly dog.  
  
"Ack!"  
  
"Autumn! Off! Get off!" Casey tugged her exuberant dog away. There was a long silence as the girls tried to think of what to do.  
  
"So. We're bored, it's hot, and there is no way in hell I'll be able to put up with your brother any longer." Meghan informed her.  
  
"Right. Try living with him."  
  
"Good point. I'll pass. Do you have any food? I'm hungry." Meghan stood up, brushed some dog hair off her, and sneezed.  
  
"Like what? We can go check if you want, but let's eat outside. It's too stuffy in here." Casey fanned herself, and pretended to faint.  
  
"A picnic! Great idea!" Meghan grinned.  
  
"What? I didn't say that." Casey looked at her friend, wondering if the heat was getting to her. She decided it was too hot to argue, and anyway, it sounded like a decent idea. "But okay. Where?"  
  
Meghan looked up. "Uh... I supplied the genius idea, it's your job to work it out."  
  
"I'm flattered."  
  
"You should be."  
  
Casey mulled over that, while she led the way up the stairs. At the top of the stairs she stopped very suddenly, almost knocking Meghan down. "Oops. Sorry." She said, not sounding like she cared. "How about Papermill? There's nice, quiet, cool woods there, and we can go swimming before we eat."  
  
Meghan nodded. "I knew you'd figure it out. Yay, Casey!" She applauded. Her friend smiled. "Well, we all knew that I'm the real brains behind it all. Hee!"  
  
The girls spent all of ten minutes figuring out what food to bring, then took half an hour to find a picnic basket. In the end, what they had was a very large wicker thing that was, all said, bigger than the two of them. Casey eyed it.  
  
"We're taking turns carrying this, right?"  
  
"Ye-es." Meghan looked innocent. "You first." She smiled sweetly. Casey glared at her, but picked it up.  
  
"It's not really all that heavy." She said doubtfully. She took a few steps out the door. Meghan following with a wicked grin on her face. The girls had decided to walk, because it was only ten o'clock and they had nothing better to do than spend two hours walking to Papermill Lake. Meghan looked at the basket.  
  
"Does your brother have a skateboard?" She asked with a thoughtful tone.  
  
"No. Why?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
  
  
  
  
Wow! You read it! :P Now if you've gotten this far, you can click on the little box in the corner (Isn't it a CUTE box?) and give a review! *sings the review song* Yay! I love you! Bai!  
  
~Niko 


	2. Aaaannnd here's the Fellowship! Or at le...

Aaaaaand now, for those of you who care, we are proud to preeeeeseeeeent... Chapter two! Featuring people! More people! And last but not least, some other people! And an Elf. And me, which makes it all worthwhile, now doesn't it? *preens* I like to thin-*Casey runs in and hits Meghan on the head* Ow. I'll shut up now.  
  
  
  
After not quite two more hours, the girls turned down the road leading to the lake. Meghan was now carrying the basket, Casey skipping along happily. After a brief conference on where to go, they decided on going through a trail to the little bridge they had discovered the year before where there was lots of shade.  
  
Once they had made their way the tiny bridge, they dumped their stuff by the side of the river and sat, spreading out a blanket.  
  
Casey looked at her towel. "Do you really want to go swimming?" She asked, looking at the water doubtfully.  
  
"No."  
  
"I applaud your wise decision. You are wise beyond all knowing."  
  
Meghan laughed. "I'm hungry. Again. Actually, I'm still hungry. I'm eating a sandwich now."  
  
"I know you're hungry. You're always hungry. Give me one too." She caught the sandwich Meghan threw at her, and pulled it open. "Meghan? Peanut butter and tomato? I think this one's yours." She tossed it back at Meghan, making a face. Meghan had odd tastes.  
  
"It's good! Really, it is! You want a piece?"  
  
Casey shook her head, and found something a little more appetizing, finally pulling out a normal looking roast beef. Meghan wrinkled her nose. "Ick." She said as the smell wafted over her. "How can you eat that?" Meghan was a vegetarian.  
  
Casey gave her a flat stare. Meghan giggled. At that point something fell into the river beside them with a great splash. They stared.  
  
A very wet person was flapping madly about in the shallow water, yelling something in a frightened tone. They could tell from his voice that it was a guy, but other than that, they had no idea who it was. He was thrashing about, trying to unwrap what looked like a cloak from around his head. It seemed to be getting more tangled from his struggles. Finally, with one great heave, he landed on the bank with his head popping free.  
  
He had light brown hair that, had it been dry, would have been curly, and an adorable, mischievous face that was right now bewildered and sopping. Water was dripping from his nose as he stared at his surroundings curiously, not yet noticing the girls.  
  
Casey stood up and walked quietly over to him, watching from behind as he struggled to get out of his sodden cloak. She leaned over and tentatively said, "Are you-" but was interrupted when he looked at her and screamed a very shrill scream. He lashed out, trying to get up, hit Casey, and run away at the same time. He fell back in the water.  
  
A startled burst of laughter came from Meghan, (who was holding a butter knife in her hand rather menacingly, or as menacingly as she could manage) and she and Casey shared an incredulous look that lasted all of two seconds, when another being fell out of the sky. This one was much bigger, however.  
  
Casey, standing closest to the stream, immediately jumped away to avoid getting fallen on, but Meghan was getting curious, and she leaned forward to look.  
  
This newcomer, however, did not land in the stream, but on the bank beside her. He hit the ground rolling, coming up in a smooth summersault to stand in front of her. At the same time as he straightened up, there was a steely hiss in the air, and he figure drew two short and dangerous looking blades from scabbards on his back, holding them crossed and inches from Meghan's throat. All this happened faster than she could breath.  
  
Meghan stood stock still, not daring to move or even breath. Behind her she heard Casey gasp, and she slowly raised her eyes to her attacker's face.  
  
His eyes were a deep blue, and quite possibly the most beautiful things she had ever seen. They were, however, full of suppressed anger and a deadly calm danger. He also had- was it true? Pointed ears? She stared at him, he glared back. Neither one attempted to move or speak.  
  
Behind them, Casey was trying her best to figure out something to do that wouldn't get them killed. She was distracted, though, when she looked up and realized that she was surrounded by two men holding swords to her throat. She made a kind of whimpering sound, and closed her eyes, a series of curses running through her mind.  
  
The stranger holding his knives at Meghan's throats said something is a demanding tone. It was also not in English. She furrowed her brow, replying in English. "I don't understand." He glared at her. "Well, I don't." She said, a bit defensively. Another crash was heard from the direction of the river. The first newcomer had fallen back in, with another, newer person on top of him.  
  
"Ow!" The newest addition said. Then he looked down. "Pippin!" He said in a delighted voice. "What are you doing here?"  
  
A gurgle came in answer. It sounded like, "You're sitting on my head."  
  
For a second, Meghan's attacker relaxed his attention on her, and spun around to check if the newcomer was a threat. She took advantage of that second to duck away, run towards Casey, who had had the same idea, and the two of them ran towards the bridge together, as someone else fell from the sky into their picnic basket.  
  
  
  
Ooooh! The drama! *sings the review song again* And ow, my head hurts.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N Gothic Elf- I have never read Terry Prachett. I own three of his books, but have never read them. I have, however, read Douglas Adams (right before writing the first bit of the story) and it's reflected in the way I write. If you heven't read his books yet, do! I wouldn't, at first, because I resented the fact that they were Sci-Fi. But I did (Mainly because the guy in the bookstore trying to sell them to me was CUTE.) and loved them! Honestly, I would LOVE to drool over Legolas, but there's far to much of it everywhere else and it annoys me, so I WILL NOT stoop to that. Heh. Anyways... 


	3. Aragorn's singularly terrible bad day ge...

(A/N) My friend and I, in light of the fact that Math and English are both very, very tediously boring classes, have been writing this out longhand, and now my hand is cramped. ...Actually, it's not, but you'd think it would be, wouldn't you? Hee. Personally, I think we're stupid to be doing it, but Casey is more dedicated to it than I am and had agreed to type the damn thing up.  
  
Note to our few readers- This part is from our dear Aragorn's point of view. I didn't want to confuse anyone, or anything. Oh, and the Elvish in this bit, well yes, I did cheat. I'm no where near fluent in Tolkien's language, so stole it from a translator. Don't hate meeee! Translations below.  
And now- onward!  
  
(Niko)  
Aragorn was having a bad day. After his company had suffered defeat on the snow-swept mountain Caradhras, they had slowly turned back, their hearts heavy, all save for the dwarf. Suddenly, however, a dramatic gust of wind had sprung up from nowhere and swept the entire group off a cliff.  
  
Aragorn had been sure they were all pretty much doomed, because from his point of view the ground looked quite far away, although it was coming closer at a distressingly rapid rate.  
  
And the quite suddenly it wasn't, at least not the same snow-covered ground. He hit the ground, which was now inexplicably covered in soft green grass, and rolled. As he sprung to his feet he looked around. To his left Legolas was standing with his knives out, held to someone's throat. He couldn't tell what they looked like, but they appeared to be a girl.  
  
Standing in front of him, however, was another girl. She had short, dark hair and was wearing very short pants and a tank top. She also looked slightly shocked. His first thought was that she and the other must have done something to have brought them here, and decided to follow Legolas' lead. As he drew his sword and leveled it at her neck, he hoped the Elf knew what he was doing. Beside him, Boromir hit the ground hard, then stood up, and for lack of a better thing to do, drew his sword on the girl.  
  
Legolas was snapping at the girl in front of them, who was trembling visibly. His captive was whimpering and looking hopefully at the sky.  
  
"Ya naa lle?"* He heard Legolas demand. The girl made no answer. "Mani naa essa en lle? Manke naa lle tuulo'?"  
  
She responded by informing him, nervously, that she had no idea what he was saying. Legolas looked angry. Aragorn called over to him.  
  
"N'ndengina he." He was telling him not to kill the girl. He wanted answers, as he was slightly confused. Plus, he felt worse now that the situation was out of his control, and a scapegoat would be really nice right then.  
  
At that point, one of the Hobbits fell out of the sky into the river, drawing his attention. The two captives took advantage of that to break away, running towards a small bridge.  
  
Aragorn and Legolas quickly drew their bows.  
  
"Stop right there!" Boromir boomed. Aragorn made a mental note to inform Boromir that he was NOT the leader, but stopped thinking about that when, abruptly, the Gandalf landed on the bridge, stopping the runners in their tracks. A satisfied smile flitted across his face. There was no escape for the girls now.  
  
As soon as she had a chance, Casey had broken away from the rather sharp looking swords that were distressingly close to her neck. Beside her, Meghan had done the same, darting away from whoever was yelling at them in an odd language. As they ran towards the questionable safety of the bridge, a loud voice commanded them to stop. The girls turned their heads back at the same time to look and abruptly ran into a large grey someone standing on the other side of the bridge.  
  
"Oof!" was Casey's startled reaction. Meghan just stared up, poking her friend sharply in the side. "What?" she asked irritably, wishing Meghan would pay attention to the situation at hand, which involved people threatening them with sharp things. Then she looked up.  
  
Standing, no, looming over them, was a very tall, grey-clad man, looking altogether disgruntled. He was very old, with a long tangled beard, and a drooping felt hat. His eyes showed an aged wisdom, but also a youthful twinkle of amusement.  
  
Looking into his eyes, Meghan was slightly annoyed. He was laughing at them, she could tell. But his face hardened as he looked around the unfamiliar surroundings. And, with incredible strength, surprising in one so old, he hauled the girls up and dragged them back over to their original captors' feet.  
  
The medium sized one with the straggly black hair was smirking openly at Casey, and the red haired man was hauling a short, squat, dwarf-sized person out of the remains of their picnic basket.  
  
The curly haired creatures that had landed in the river were, at that point, laboriously clambering out. The one who had landed on the other's head- 'Pippin' he had called the one he was sitting on- was already out. Pippin was just about to climb after him when out of the sky fell two large dark haired persons, landing on top of him and tumbling him back into the now-muddy water.  
  
The blonde one was there in a flash, helping them up. "Elladan!" he nodded to one. "And Elrohir!"  
  
They looked questioningly at him and asked him something in some language. He shook his head and gestured towards the girls. They turned to stare at them, and Meghan, in a sudden fit of inspired mischief, stuck her tongue out at them.  
  
"You really don't have any sense of self-preservation, do you?" hissed Casey, eyeing Aragorn nervously. He had his sword out and was circling the girls menacingly.  
  
Then, suddenly, he looked up. "Where's the Ring-Bearer?" he asked of nobody in particular. There was a dead silence.  
  
A small voice came from above them. "I'm in a tree." It sounded plaintive. They all looked up to see a small, disconcerted looking figure with dark, curly hair hanging by his pack high up in the air.  
  
No one said anything. Then Pippin laughed. He was still sitting in the water.  
  
"Pippin," the other curly haired creature began, "Why are you sitting in that river?"  
  
"Because, Merry, every time I start to get out, someone else falls on me," he explained. "I think I'll just wait here for a bit." Merry gave him an odd look, then turned to look at whoever was crashing through the underbrush towards them.  
  
"Sam!" came a glad cry from up in the tree.  
  
"Mr. Frodo? What are you doing in that tree? And why is Master Pippin in the river? And just where Iis/I this place?" The squat little fellow looked confused.  
  
The dark haired man strode over the girls, looking them in the eye(s). "You know Sam, that's a good question." He looked at each of the girls in turn. "What have you done to bring us here?" he demanded.  
  
"What?!" A startled exclamation burst out of Casey. "What are you Italking/I about? You-" She stopped talking because the red haired man was holding a sword over her head again. Meghan spoke up.  
  
"We didn't bring you here. We have no idea how you got here. We don't even know who-" she snuck a glance at the tall blonde. "- Or bwhat/b you are." He narrowed his eyes at her but she swallowed and continued. "You've got a lot of nerve barging in here and battacking/b us. You're- " she stopped and turned to Casey who was poking her.  
  
"Meghan-" she whispered hoarsely. "Look at these people. ILOOK/I at them." Meghan blinked.  
  
"What?" she asked stupidly. Casey pointed to Frodo and uttered one word.  
  
"Hobbit."  
(End chapter)  
  
*Translations, respectivly: 'Who are you', 'What is your name', 'Where are you from', and the ever heart-warming 'Don't kill them.'  
  
Revieeeeew! *begs* I need the self-esteem booster. Oh, so far, yes, I have written the whole thing, but next chapter you'll get to sample my dear friend Casey's style of writing, which is much lighter and amusing than mine. (Hee. I make the story move along, she amuses with funny banter. *plaintively* I wish I could write funny banter too!) 


	4. The shoddilyedited sorry chapter 4, in w...

(A/N Yay! Casey writing! But I'm still doing the intro. I ASKED her if she wanted to say anything, but she said no. *sniff*  
  
I'd like to inform you that there are some individual notes to reviewers at the bottom of the page, just because I like talking to you! Hee. Thanks, peoples!) And onward, again!  
'This is insane. this can't be real. they're friggin' Ifictional/I characters. I must be dreaming.' Casey's voice insisted. Casey's odd logic told her that if it was a dream, she should wake up. She grabbed some skin on her leg and dug her long nails in. Hard. Too hard. She let out a high- pitched, glass-shattering scream. Then she swore.  
  
"Casey, what are you doing?" Meghan hissed from beside her.  
  
We aren't dreaming. I checked," Casey whispered back. Then she became aware of a sword pressed against her throat.  
  
"Planning more devilry?" the back haired man asked sourly.  
  
"No! We told you, we didn't do anything! You're ficti-" Casey gasped as the sword nicked her throat. "That hurt!" The annoying smirk in his face, he moved off.  
  
"Damn ass," Casey muttered, glaring at him and rubbing her throat.  
  
"Casey, they bCAN'T/b be hobbits," Meghan insisted. "That would mean they."  
  
"Look at them. Look at their bfeet/b. It all fits. The one with the attitude problem is Aragorn. And the blonde."  
  
"Is Legolas." Meghan finished (they had a habit of doing that). He turned to look at her, obviously distrusting.  
  
Right then Pippin finally got tired of sitting in the wet lake. He started to climb out when another tall blonde person landed on him and pushed him back in.  
  
"I told you so!" Pippin yelled at Merry. Then they all turned to glare at Meghan and Casey, accusatory looks in their eyes.  
  
'"GO TO HELL!" Meghan yelled. "I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOU PEOPLE BLAMING US AND FIGGING THREATENING US WHEN WE DID NOTHING TO DESERVE IT!" She got up and marched over to Legolas. "You. Put the arrow down." He had drawn his bow and was aiming it at her heart.  
  
"Do we Ilook/I guilty?" Casey demanded. "We're not wizards. or, or. "  
  
"Whatever the female equivalent is?" supplied Meghan dryly.  
  
"Yeah. Whatever you guys are thinking, it's wrong!"  
  
Meghan stepped forwards again, ignoring Legolas, the trigger-happy elf, and challenged him. "Look at us. Do you really think we're dangerous? Go ahead, Greenleaf. Shoot, if you're so convinced of the threat we may be."  
  
No one moved.  
  
Casey gingerly pushed Aragorn's sword away, and glared at Haldir (the last elf to land on Pippin) who had drawn his bow and was looking slightly deadly.  
  
Finally Legolas lowered his bow and lowered the arrow. Haldir instantly followed suit, and Aragorn sheathed his sword.  
  
The girls breathed a sigh of relief, and Meghan moved back to stand with Casey.  
  
"You really, IREALLY/I have no sense of self-preservation, do you? God, you're dense!" hissed Casey.  
  
Meghan shrugged. Then she announced. "I'm stressed. Excuse me for a minute." And fainted.  
  
Everyone stared. Then Casey blinked. "Shit." She said, helpfully. No one moved. Then another voice came in.  
  
"Could you please, Iplease/I get me out of this tree?"  
(A/N Hi again! Hee. You guys rock, and I'm in an incredibly strange mood right now.)  
  
Corrina: You have NO idea how uncanny that is. Cas and I have about forty pages of this written out long hand, and what you suggested is EXACTLY what happens. That's ODD. *stares, edges away*  
  
Erenriel Dreamweaver: Now see, if I had my way, then Gimli would drop in the middle of a nearby lake wearing plate armour and/or chain mail. (I DON'T LIKE him.)  
  
LUCY: Hee. 'Bloody.' I like that. ...Settle down though! Here's a valium for you to lick. :D Glad at least SOMEONE likes this.  
  
I had best be getting some sleep right about now. *nods* 


	5. In which Meghan is unconcious, and Casey...

(A/N from Meghan: ff.net hates me, and will not allow me to use italics or punctuation, and tends to mash paragraphs together, no matter how nicely I had it edited in Word. Sorry!  
  
There's some ...Uh... Odd.... little notes periodically thoughout. Enjoy them- we wrote this section of the story at THREE IN THE MORNING while Molly laughed at the wall. We were all VERY tired. The notes reflect our state of mind at the time. Bwah hah. Thanks to Cas for typing all forty pages of what we have so far. (Not THIS chapter. We're breaking it up in bits.) You have too much patience, hun!) I LOVE YOU ALL! Hee.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"OK, maybe you didn't bring us here. But I still don't trust you," Aragorn told Casey. He paced back and forth, never taking his eyes off the girls. Behind him, an ugly little man that Boromir addressed as Gimli clambered out of the picnic basket, which he had fallen on and destroyed.  
"Lovely," Casey muttered. "That really helps."  
"I say we tie them up until we decide what to do." The little man said. There was a general murmur of agreement. Casey recognized him as the Dwarf and hissed at him. Then his statement sunk in.  
"What?" Casey shrieked. "You can't tie us up! We didn't DO anything!" She stamped her foot angrily.  
"Can you prove it?" Aragorn demanded, smirking again.  
"Well, no, but-" She trailed off.  
"Then." He motioned for Boromir to tie her up. She screamed in irritation as he tied her hands behind her back but didn't try to resist. They tied the still unconscious Meghan's hands as well and left them with Legolas, Merry and Pippin.  
Merry was looking at her. "What are you doing here?" He asked suspiciously.  
"Excuse me? What am I doing here? This is my world! YOU'RE the ones who just fell out of the sky! What are YOU doing here?"  
"We don't have to answer to you!" Pippin insisted. "What are you doing here?"  
"ARGH!" Casey screamed. "I LIVE here! What are you doing here?"  
"Forget us!" Merry told her. "What are you doing here?"  
"Does NOTHING get to those mushroom-addled brains of yours?" Casey screamed. "I'm supposed to be here! What are you doing here?" So it went back and forth from Casey to Merry to Casey to Pippin and back to Casey again. That's what Meghan woke up to.  
Casey and her two genius counterpoints were too busy to notice, and Legolas was busy staring at the local foliage in consternation. Meghan decided to take advantage of the situation to sort things out as best she could. However, after about a minute of considering their situation, she got a headache and decided to sit up.  
As she did, she realized there was a problem. "There are pine needles in my hair, and I want them OUT!" she informed everyone, who ignored her, except for Pippin, who was waiting for Merry and Casey to finish so he could talk.  
He knelt down beside her. "Hello," he said in his lilting accent.  
She blinked laconically at him. "Could you kindly get these pine needles out of my hair?" She drawled.  
"Sure I could!" he obliged. "Do you have any food?"  
She frowned. "There was some in the picnic basket, but it's not in very good shape anymore. See if you can find anything."  
He grinned, "Thanks!" and went to rummage in the wreckage of the basket.  
Suddenly Legolas calmly announced. "We are no longer in Middle Earth."  
Casey paused in her argument. "That's what I've been TELLING you people!" she reproached, and promptly sat down to sulk.  
"So what genius observation prompted that startling remark?" asked Meghan dryly. He ignored her tone and gestured at the trees.  
"These trees... Are subtly different from those of our land."  
"Really?" asked Meghan, who like trees so much she cried when people talked about cutting them down.  
"Yes."  
Meghan rolled her eyes. "That explains so much."  
"Really, now." Casey agreed. From a distance, the tiny group heard a squeal of tires and a rather loud crunching sound. A few seconds later, a wild-eyed Aragorn and some very disturbed looking elves burst into the area, followed by Sam.  
"The metal dragon! It-it-" he stuttered and the elves nervously fingered their bows, looking around like they expected the ground to rise up and eat them. At that point, neither Meghan nor Casey would be all that surprised if it did.  
"I'm assuming that was a car?" Casey whispered to her friend, who discreetly kicked her.  
"Well, have we established that we're not evil and only want to help you?" asked Meghan laconically, giving rise to a few odd stares.  
Gandalf walked over, leaning heavily on his staff. "Do you truly wish to help us?" his eyes bored into hers, searching her face for her intent.  
"... Yes," Casey answered, although she didn't sound completely confident.  
Aragorn leaned down. "Would you swear?"  
"Yes. I don't go back on what I say!" said Casey indignantly.  
"Uh... Casey...." Meghan said warningly.  
"What are we going to do, just leave them here? Think about it." she told Meghan then turned to Aragorn. "Yes. I would swear." She told him.  
"Then swear," he said, his look serious. Casey knew they placed great importance on these things. (A/N from Casey: Don't ask why. She just did. Meighan wrote this part at one a.m. listening to tango music, so it doesn't make much sense. I think her exact words were ' I'm writing this originally longhand at one o'clock listening to tango music so EXCUSE ME if my sentence(sic) [which she spelled wrong! HA!] is fucked. Thank you.)  
Beside her, Meghan looked worried. "Uh." was her exact statement. Casey was glaring at Aragorn.  
"Fine. I swear to do whatever I can to help you-all of you-figure out why you're here and to get you home."  
Meghan sighed. "Nice job." Haldir looked at her.  
"And will you, too, swear?"  
Legolas added, "We will hold you to your promises."  
She stuck her chin in the air. "I'm well aware of that, Greenleaf." She said in an unreadable tone. "Elves aren't the only race that comprehends honour. And so then I swear to help you home. We will do all in our power-"  
"-Although that's not a lot!" Casey chirruped.  
"-To help. Happy?" Meghan finished.  
"Yes."  
"Good. Stupid elves," she muttered bitterly, and plopped onto a log, fiddling with her messy dark hair.  
There was a long pause. "So," said Casey in a bright voice, "Gonna untie us now? 'Cause I can't feel my fingers anymore, and we need to figure out a way to get you the hell out of here. Ah-" she began as Aragorn drew his knife and walked over to cut her bonds. "Not you. I don't trust you."  
The younger of the twin elves laughed and stepped forwards while Boromir undid Meghan's hands.  
"And now," Casey continued, "Someone really ought to get Frodo out of that tree."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
(A/N from Meghan: Poor Frodo. Hee. Review? YAY!) 


	6. In which some, uh, things, happen CARS! ...

(A/N More!)  
~~~~~~~  
After they had rescued the disgruntled ringbearer, they sat in a circle. Casey counted them mentally. Altogether, there were 13, other than Meghan and herself. Wait. 13? Beside her Meghan was having the same thoughts.  
"13? Aren't there supposed to be nine of you?"  
Aragorn looked at her. "How did you know that?"  
Shit. She recovered. "Never mind. It's a long story."  
"We have time."  
"Oh no we don't."  
Aragorn sighed. "There were nine of us. But when we were brought here, somehow so were Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel and Haldir." They nodded as Aragorn said their names.  
"Obviously!" lilted Meghan, and she beamed and waved at the elves, who only stared at her.  
"It was quite odd," Elrohir added. "One minute we," he indicated his brother and himself, "Were out riding, and the next we were in the lake sitting on the hobbit."  
"Well here's the deal. You're not in Kansas anymore," Casey told them. They blinked at her.  
"What?" Frodo asked.  
"Oh, shut up, Toto," Meghan told him. She and Casey started laughing hysterically.  
"You do realize that nothing you've said has been the least bit informing?" Boromir asked irritably.  
"Well, somehow you fell out of our sky into our world. We have no idea how or why, we only know we can't leave you here. If someone found you, that would be, well, bad. Very bad. So you'll have to stay at Casey's house until we at least get a clueof what's going on. Informative enough for you?" Meghan asked Boromir patronizingly.  
"What?!? MY house???" Casey demanded incredulously.  
"Well, yeah. They're not going to fit in my house," Meghan replied.  
"But, but- my parents-" She stammered incoherently.  
"Are going to be gone for at least four days." Meghan pointed out sweetly.  
While Meghan and Casey were arguing, Arwen suddenly waltzed in.  
"Arwen!" Aragorn called happily. Casey noticed the suspicious looks that the twins and Glorfindel were giving her. Like something wasn't right. Then Casey saw it. Aragorn didn't notice but for just a second her eyes went red (*gasp!*)  
"That's not Arwen!" Elrohir yelled. Casey, who was closest, jumped on Arwen, knocked her over, and began beating her with a stick. 'Arwen' stood up and backed away.  
Legolas ran straight in front of Arwen, his bow ready to fire. He waited until Casey inevitably fell down [hah!] and loosed an arrow straight at her heart.  
His arrow, however, abruptly caught on fire in mid-flight and was reduced to cinders inches from her heart.  
"What is this?" he asked rhetorically, starring in consternation. He let fly another, and another followed, but Arwen simply looked at them and they were destroyed. Then Gandalf stepped forwards and, raising his staff, was engulfed in a shining pure light. [c A/N from Meighan:- It's actually PURPLE light, but I bet you pictured white, didn't you? Hee.] Arwen, or her imposter, shrieked and Leoglas aimed and fired. Despite her attempts to knock it aside, it buried itself deeply in her shoulder. [AND THE LEGOLAS ROCK SAYS HI!]  
She snarled at him and pointed her finger, which had gained claws at some point. A beam of blood red shot out and hit him, and he dropped to the ground. She let out an ear-splitting shriek and whisps of smoke curled around her face. Suddenly she dissolved entirely into smoke leaving [c A/N- love Meghan: IMPORTANT PLOT POINT!] her clothes in a collapsed heap. [c A/N- the same: I hope you paid attention. There will be a QUIZ after the show!]  
Everyone but Aragorn and Casey rushed to the fallen elf's side. His eyes were unfocused, but other than that he was fine.  
Aragorn glared at Casey. "What do you think you were DOING ?!" he spluttered, kicking at the clothes. Meghan's head snapped up.  
"Don't touch the evidence!" she lectured and started minutely examining every detail.  
"Saving your life," Casey told him.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"That wasn't Arwen! I don't know who it was, but they would have absolutely no hesitations killing you."  
"Thank you," he said abruptly and turned away looking sad. (Aw.) Casey felt bad.  
"I swore to protect you," she answered simply. He turned and stared at her.  
"Look what I found!" Meghan jumped up suddenly. She was holding an hourglass with a pyramid engraved on top. "And there's sand all through the clothes."  
"Great. What does it mean?" Casey asked, expecting genius.  
"I have no idea," Meghan admitted.  
"Well, until we can figure it out, we have to go somewhere safe. Can we stay at your home?" Gandalf asked Casey gravely.  
"Yeah," she answered.  
"Let's go then," Gimli urged irritably.  
"Wait. We can't just all walk there. You can't be seen. Or, at least, not noticed," Meghan told him.  
"If only we had a car with us. And someone who could drive it," Casey suggested hopelessly.  
"I only know how to drive my bike. I don't have a clue with a car. But you've been practicing, haven't you?"  
"Oh no. No, no, no. Meghan, I can't! It's illegal. It's nowhere near legal for at least two months!"  
"Casey, look around you. There's a hobbit sitting beside you. Legal issues are a little. unimportant right now. And besides, you can drive. They'd have no reason to pull you over."  
"How about the one that I don't even look 16? Or that I'll be cramming some 15. people into a car?"  
"I'll get my motercycle. That'll narrow it down to 13."  
"All right!" Casey sighed. "I give up. I'll do it."  
"Do you have a plan?" Glorfindel asked.  
"Yeah, but we have to go home first. It'll take an hour, maybe  
  
two," Casey told them.  
"Wait. Boromir, go with them," Aragorn ordered.  
"Try to stay hidden! Avoid anyone who's not us!" Meghan told them and she, Casey and Boromir (who had to leave his cloak and pack behind) left.  
~~~~~~~~  
Please review! I like reviews! They make me happy! 


	7. Did you know they won't allow periods in...

Chapter Seven. I think.  
It took a while. Dreadful sorry. Cas, you better stay on my case about updating, or this'll NEVER get done!  
  
Note: I don't know WHY, but things are refusing to upload properly, thus the rather messy paragraphs. Help? Also, if ANYONE knows how to get the italics/bolds to work, I would be SO incredibly grateful to you. I've tried the html things with the "iword/I" but it's not working. I'll write you a cameo! Or something. Please help! I love you, thanks, bye for now!  
  
~Meg  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
Meghan and Casey hurried off. Boromir ran behind them. Going as quick as they could, it only took them about an hour.  
As they reached the door, Casey put her key in the lock, swearing under her breath at the delay. She threw open the door, and grabbed the car keys off the nearby keyring.  
"Stay here. Don't answer the phone or door, don't touch any of the stuff in here. Just, stay here," she ordered Boromir before she ran back outside, slamming the door behind her.  
"What's a phone?" Boromir asked the door. The door offered no response because, well, it was a door.  
Meghan and Casey ran to the white Camry in the driveway and quickly started it.  
"Are you sure you can do this?" Meghan asked nervously.  
"Of course," Casey answered with a weak smile. "Just hope the police don't pull me over."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She drove carefully and as quickly as she could to Meghan's empty house.  
"I know a way there that's almost completely off the highway," Casey told Meghan as she climbed on her motorcycle. "Just follow my car." They got back to the lake in just under 10 minutes. They raced off to find the group.  
"Hello? You guys? Where are you?" Meghan called softly as they reached the spot where they'd left them. She shared a worried look with Casey.  
"You don't think they-gah!" She was cut off as Legolas dropped gracefully from a tree above them.  
"Took you long enough," he said with a smirk on his face.  
"Oh, shut up," Casey glared at him.  
"Where is everyone?" Meghan demanded.  
"Some people came by so we decided to move further back. I waited," he told them, heading off. "Come on!" he called over his shoulder. Casey shrugged and they followed him.  
"'K, here's the deal," Casey announced when they'd all gathered and finally shut up. "You're going to stay at my house with us for awhile. God help us all," she added under her breath. "Legolas, you'll go with Meghan." She laughed and smirked at them.  
  
Meghan blushed. "Maybe Frodo should come with me instead," she suggested.  
  
"Meh, they can both fit," Casey responded, grinning viciously. "The rest of you will come with me in the car." She ignored the confused looks and continued. "For heaven's sake, try to be quiet and not call attention to yourselves. This'll look odd enough as it is. D'you understand?" They didn't, but she set off anyway. "Bring Boromir's stuff!" she added over her shoulder as she caught up to Meghan. "When you get to my house try to be as inconspicuous as you can, even though you have a hobbit and an elf with you. this is so insane. oh, and try to be quiet. bloody prying neighbours."  
They stopped by the car and motorcycle which were parked by the entrance to the trail.  
"What is that?" Pippin asked.  
"It's like a carriage. without the horse."  
"What about that?" He pointed to the motorcycle.  
"A motorcycle."  
  
Pippin got an excited look on his face. "I want to ride on that!"  
Meghan snorted.  
"No. You're coming with me. Frodo and Legolas are going on that." Casey noticed the look of excitement on Legolas' face. (A/N Courtesy of Casey: Not like that, you perverts!) "Hey Legolas, make sure you hold on tight to Meghan!" Meghan turned red and went to get them on the motorcycle.  
"Um, excuse me, but, well. it doesn't seem like there's enough room for everyone," Elladan said.  
"Aren't you the observant one?" asked Casey dryly. "OK, you and you," she pointed to Gimli and Aragorn, "Go in the trunk."  
"The trunk?" Aragorn asked. "What is a trunk?"  
"Oh, right, sorry," she apologized. She opened the driver's door, popped the trunk, walked back around, and pointed. "The trunk."  
"What?" Gimli demanded incredulously. "We will be riding in THAT? You cannot be serious. I wou-"  
"Look," she snapped, cutting him off. "If you have a better idea, please, be my guest. But right now, this is the best plan we have. If you'd prefer to stay here until someone finds you, go right ahead." She glared at him unblinking until he finally grumbled an agreement.  
"Right. You two," she pointed to the twins, "Have to share the front seat. Gandalf, Haldir, and Glorfindel sit in the back and we'll squish the hobbits in." Everyone, except for Casey was startled by the gunshot of Meghan's motorcycle starting and driving off. Then they opened the door and Haldir, Glorfindel and Gandalf crawled into the backseat.  
"Buckle your seatbelts!" Casey told them and, after a couple of minutes of figuring them out, they did. The hobbits crawled in after them. Casey shut the trunk with a whispered 'sorry' and got into the front seat, the twins squished beside her. She put the key in the ignition and turned it. Pippin screamed as a heavy metal song blared to life on the radio.  
"Sorry!" Casey exclaimed, snapping it off. Everyone started talking.  
"Please be quiet," Casey asked, but they didn't hear her. "SHUT UP!" she screamed and they looked at her. "I'm sorry. It's just that here you can't drive unless your 16 and have a license. And even then you have to drive with an experienced adult for at least three months. I'm not 16, nor do I have a license and I've crammed a five-person car with 11 people. And if the police see me, they'll pull me over because I don't even LOOK 16."  
"Why don't you let one of us drive? We look older than 16," Elrohir suggested.  
"Because you have even LESS clue what you're doing! I'll be alright if I can focus, I just need you to SHUT UP."  
They fell silent, except for Pippin, who whispered quietly to Merry, "What's a police?"  
~~~~~~~~~~  
You know what to do, give a review! Helpful and constructive reviews highly appreciated! 


	8. In which Meghan runs out of fuel for her...

(As I hit my head on the computer which as of TWO SECONDS ago ate my homework...)  
  
*clunk* Ow. *clunk* Ow. *plink!*  
  
... Plink? AHH! IT'S A GOLDFISH!  
~Niko  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Ahead of them, Meghan was not happy. She had managed to get all three of them on her rather small motorcycle, but the balance was off, and she didn't want to go very fast.  
Before they had started, she had turned and informed Legolas that if he didn't want a 200 pound pile of metal on top of him when they stopped, he would need to put his legs down to help balance. She also told the both of them in no uncertain terms that they were never to mention this to anyone.  
Puzzled, they agreed, and they got on. Frodo, the smallest of the three, sat in front of her, and Legolas was behind. He started to put his hands around her waist to hold on, but she snapped at him. "Hold on to my *shoulders*, Greenleaf." Frodo snickered. "And I don't need that. Now, let's go."  
Now they were just ahead of Casey, who was probably not very happy either.  
Legolas leaned his face close to her shoulder. "How long will we be traveling?" He said loudly over the wind.  
"Maybe 10 minutes!" she yelled back. "We're trying to avoid notice here, so we have to skip the highway."  
Frodo was listening. "The what?" he asked.  
"Nevermind!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
Back in the car, Casey was definitely getting annoyed. Haldir kept leaning forward and trying to turn the radio back on, getting out of his seat and blocking Casey's view. Not to mention displacing the already uncomfortable hobbits.  
"Sit BACK!" yelled Casey, annoyed. He did so. A moment later, a muffled voice was heard.  
"You're sitting on my head," announced Pippin.  
"Oh. Sorry," said Haldir, but didn't move.  
"Oooh frigg," Casey groaned, eyes widening as they waited for the light to change. "Oh, bad, bad, BAD!"  
"What is it?" Glorfindel asked.  
"Krissie."  
"What?" Just then the light changed and they turned up the hill.  
"Oh, God," Casey moaned and ducked under the steering wheel, out of view.  
"What is she doing?" Haldir asked. Gandalf sighed impatiently. Their irritability quickly turned to horror as the car veered left across the road. Pippin screamed. Again.  
"Get up!" Elrohir (the closer twin) yelled at Casey. Then, on instinct, he grabbed the wheel and pulled it to a hard right. Casey popped up again.  
"No problem," she chirped happily and took the wheel.  
Kristian stared after the car crammed with people. She could have sworn it hadn't had a driver. She looked down at the dog, up at the retreating car, then back down at the dog. "I really need more sleep," she told him.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Meghan glanced down at the fuel gage. "That's not good," she said cryptically.  
"What is it?" Legolas asked.  
"We need gas." Just as cryptically.  
"Gas?"  
"The stuff that makes this work."  
"Is that bad?"  
"Quite."  
"Oh."  
"Shut up, Greenleaf." She could feel him tense in anger, and Frodo shake with laughter. She turned right and went down the hill, pulling into a gravel driveway.  
"Off," she informed Legolas.  
"What?"  
"I said off, Greenleaf. Put your feet on the ground and step to the left. It's not a difficult concept." He climbed off and she moved back to let Frodo off. "Now look. I can't take you two into a gas station, especially not without helmets. Look, Greenleaf, I need you to stay here, and use that supposedly wonderfully keen Elven eyesight you're reputed to have. Okay?"  
They nodded tersely.  
"And if someone comes?" Frodo asked, looking around nervously.  
Meghan paused. She looked around and spotted what she was looking for. "There." She pointed. "Hop in that."  
"What is it?"  
"A dumpster."  
"Oh. What's a dumpster?"  
She hit her head.  
"Well?"  
"Good bye, Frodo. Greenleaf, if either of you get hurt, its your fault. Okay?"  
"I understand."  
Meghan sighed, then left, hoping against hope that no one would notice the odd pair.  
Legolas watched her ride off on that. thing. she called a motorcycle, then turned to Frodo, his eyes scanning the unfamiliar horizon. His thoughts were confused. That girl obviously hated him, but he had no idea why. He also didn't understand why she kept calling him 'Greenleaf.' How did she know his name? She claimed not to know elvish, but he suspected she knew more than she let on. And why did she and that other girl-Casey she was called, insist that they go to her home when they should be concentrating on getting back to Middle Earth. He didn't understand any of this.  
Frodo, beside him, was feeling the same way. He, however, most decidedly liked this girl and her strange contraption, and the other girl too. Right now, though, his thoughts were on his stomach. As if to accentuate his thought, it growled.  
Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind by Legolas, and found himself being dragged to behind the dumpster. Legolas hissed a warning, and drew his bow, staring out intensely.  
A group of youths were swaggering down the street, turning into the driveway. They were heading directly towards them. He drew his arm back, nocking an arrow and aiming.  
"What are you doing?" shrilled Frodo, plucking at his arm.  
"Shut up," he said, borrowing a phrase from Meghan.  
"Dude, you're so drunk!" one of the youths all but yelled.  
"Not as drunk as you," another responded. They started laughing, and stopped for a minute. Legolas prepared to shoot his arrow but at the last minute was distracted by the sound of Meghan's motorcycle. He veered upwards to avoid hitting her at the last possible second, and the arrow zipped past the teenagers, who were staring in drunken consternation at Meghan.  
"Dude, was that an arrow?" One slurred.  
As Meghan got off her bike, Frodo ran out. Legolas went after him.  
"Woah. dude. he's so. short."  
"He has dwarfism," Meghan informed the drunken teen.  
"I'm a hob-" Frodo was cut off when Meghan discreetly kicked him.  
"Why are they dressed so. dumb?" asked a drunk, chunky, blonde girl, with too much eye make up and not enough clothes.  
"Uh... Renaissance Fair," Meghan lied quickly.  
"Rena. Reno. Ren-hey cool! There's two of you!" yet another one informed her, pointing and squinting.  
"Peachy keen. If you'll excuse me, I have to go get my medieval dress." She marched off, dragging Legolas and Frodo with her. "What do you think you're doing?" she hissed at Legolas. "You can't go around shooting bloody fucking arrows at random drunk kids!"  
Legolas shrugged. "My first priority is protecting the ring bearer."  
"And a fine job you'll do locked in a jail cell for killing a kid! You really don't get it, do you, Greenleaf?" she asked, starting the bike.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Stupid... Stupid... Computer! Faugh. ANYHOO!  
Reeeeeeeeeeeview! Yay! 


	9. In which stuff happens

The first thing Casey noticed when she pulled into her driveway was that Meghan wasn't back yet. The second thing she noticed was that, being a brilliantly sunny, gorgeous day, most of her neighbours would be outside somewhere. Neighbours who had known her her whole life. If they noticed something. unusual, they might mention it to her parents. Or better yet, come over themselves to see what was up.  
Then she became aware of Merry's indignant, "Hey! How do we get out of here?" They didn't have the slightest idea how to use the door handles.  
"I should just leave you here," she told them, reaching for the door and then stopping.  
Haldir had been watching her hawkishly. It took him all of two seconds to figure out how the doors worked. Before Casey knew what was happening, he had jumped in the front, climbed over her, opened the door, and was standing outside.  
"Wai- wai- wai- wai- wait!" Casey yelled, panicked. Reluctantly he got back in. "Smartass," she glared at his triumphant face. "Look, we have to go in two or three at a time. Haldir, since you're already squishing me, we'll go first." One by one, she escorted them to the house.  
At last, humming at her good luck that not a single neighbour had been in view of her house the whole time, she went to get Gimli.  
He was just about to climb out when Casey heard a high pitched, "Hi!" She pushed Gimli down and slammed the trunk. A muffled 'ow' was heard as Casey whirled around.  
"Hi Holly!"  
"What's that?" the 10 year old blonde asked. Looking down, Casey saw the reason for Gimli's pain. A large tuft of red beard was sticking out of the trunk.  
"That? Oh, um, that. um, well, that's a. a wig!"  
"Oh." Holly accepted the lie easily. "Ummm, is Patrick home?" she asked, twirling her hair.  
Casey smiled at the obvious crush. "No, he's gone to camp. But he should be home in a couple weeks," she informed the girl kindly.  
"OK!" Holly said and skipped off.  
Meghan pulled in just in time to see a little girl skip off across the yard. She saw Casey breathe an audible sigh of relief and noticed a large tuft of red. fuzz sticking out of the trunk. She watched as Casey opened the trunk, revealing a very disgruntled Gimli.  
"Sorry," Casey told him but Meghan could tell she was fighting back laughter. As soon as Gimli was free, they hurried towards the relative safety of the house.  
Inside was slight chaos. Everyone had stopped inside the tiny front hall and were talking. Merry and Pippin were chasing Sparkles, the oldest and biggest of Casey's many cats.  
"Hey!" Casey yelled out. Nobody paid any attention. She put her two index fingers in her mouth and whistled, loud and shrill. Everyone turned to look at her. "Thank you," she said. "Now come on. We're going downstairs." She led the way down the basement stairs and into the family room.  
"Wow," Pippin said, looking around. Then he and Merry ran to the futon and began jumping on it.  
"Stop!" Casey shouted. But she was too late. The futon flew down into a bed. Merry and Pippin jumped off and backed away.  
"That thing's dangerous!" Merry insisted. Suddenly a loud, high pitched scream was heard. Pippin spun around and screamed right back at the horror babe on TV.  
"It's alive!" he shrieked.  
"Honestly," Meghan sighed, turning off the TV. "It's not alive, you just pressed the power button."  
"This whole place is dangerous!" Merry insisted.  
"It's not dangerous. You just can't act like a bcomplete/b fool," Casey told him, pulling the futon back up. "I Ireally/I hope my mother doesn't notice the scrape on the wall." She sat down on the futon and looked around. Suddenly she noticed Legolas looking at the DVDs and videos on the bookshelf by the TV. His gaze was drawing closer and closer to her many ILord of the Rings/I DVDs.  
She jumped up and stood in front of him. "Hi!"  
"Hello," he responded, looking confused.  
"What are you doing?" she asked him, reaching for the DVDs behind her back.  
"Looking at these... things," he replied.  
"Really? That's great." She stood there for a couple minutes.  
"Yes. Could you please move?"  
"Oh. Right." She turned around, snatched the DVDs and backed away with them behind her back.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Nothing!" Aragorn looked at her suspiciously. "Really. It's nothing. It's just something you really, Ireally/I can't see." With that she turned around and raced upstairs hiding them in her room.  
"I'm hungry!" Pippin announced 20 minutes later as they sat in the family room.  
"You're Ialways/I hungry," Casey told him from where she lay on the floor with her eyes closed.  
"I'm not!"  
"Actually, Pip, you are," Merry told him.  
"I am not!"  
"Actually, I could do with something to eat," Glorfindel interrupted before WWIII exploded. Not that he knew what WWIII was.  
Casey sat up. "What d'you think, Meghan? Pizza?"  
"Sure!" she agreed. As Casey ran upstairs to use the phone, Meghan called after her, "Get one for us too!" 


	10. IN which I get confused! And there is a ...

In case you haven't noticed, I'm the Introduction/Author notes Fairy. As opposed to Casey, who's the Typing Fairy. Yes, that's right- we wrote this out longhand first! And she typed up every bit of it! Kudos to Casey, she killed her back doing it. The sacrifices she's making for us! *sob*  
  
Only one more point to make today, kiddies! I adamantly dislike stupid euphemisms! Stupid, stupid euphemisms. That'll be all. *bows*  
  
~Niko  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
While Casey was upstairs, Meghan went over and sat beside Haldir on the futon (which Merry and Pippin were still carefully avoiding). "Hi!"  
"Hello," he answered.  
  
She lapsed into silence, wondering what to say. Luckily, Haldir kept talking.  
  
"Your world... It seems very strange to me. And the way you act-"  
  
She cut him off. "Yeah, well, in our world, girls don't have to settle for mediocrity. We're very outspoken. And, uh, stuff."  
  
"You dress strangely."  
  
"Thanks." She said wryly. "Same to you."  
  
He looked at her oddly. "I meant no offense."  
  
"None taken. Why should I care what you think?"  
  
He looked a little hurt, and Meghan immediately felt bad. "Sorry. I just meant that I'm not the kind of person who cares about being what other people want them to be. I don't cater to others, is all."  
  
Haldir thought about that, never having encountered a girl like this. He decided he liked her, although much about her puzzled him. "So how do you like our world?" Meghan asked.  
  
"I like some of the people in it," he told her, and she grinned.  
  
"Good. Would you like to listen to some music, or something?" She suggested, and he nodded. She put on an instrumental CD of Celtic songs, and started singing along in Gaelic, oblivious to Haldir's prescence. He watched her with interest, thinking to himself.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
Casey came back down and about 45 minutes later the doorbell rang. "Watch them!" Casey yelled to Meghan who was still talking to Haldir, and ran upstairs.  
"Ummm, two large pepperoni and mushroom and a small cheese?" asked the pizza guy who was about 17 and gorgeous.  
"Uh-huh," Casey answered, taking the pizzas. Just then someone obviously very short raced past the hall. It was followed by a high pitched 'Pippin' shriek.  
"What was that?" Pizza-boy asked curiously.  
"Cats."  
"Cats?"  
"Yes. Cats. Very large cats." Suddenly, another high-pitched squeal was heard along with the sound of running water. Casey's eyes widened. The sound of feet thudding up the stairs was heard and Meghan burst into the hall.  
"They found the shower," Meghan whispered frantically in Casey's ear. She all but threw the money at Meghan telling her to pay Pizza-boy.  
"Is all this pizza just for the two of you?" he asked, obviously expecting a party.  
"It's for the cats!" Casey yelled over her shoulder as she hurried down the halls. Meghan rolled her eyes, then turned to the skeptical pizza-boy  
"Um, hi!" Meghan smiled at him.  
"Hi," he grinned at her.  
"Hii," she said again shyly, noting that he was quite possibly the most gorgeous guy she had ever seen, and thus was unable to say anything else.  
  
"So, um, just out of curiousity, I noticed you ordered vegetarian pizza..." He said, somewhat lamely, staring at her. Meghan noticed the stare and blushed. iI must look a mess,/i she thought, and absently brushed back her tousled brown hair, suddenly very conscious of her appearance. "Yeah, I'm a vegetarian," she said, blushing slightly.  
  
"Me too!" Pizza-boy said excitedly. He dropped the pizza. "Oh, my god, I'm so sorry-" He bent down to pick it up at the same time as Meghan, and their hands brushed. For some reason, Pizza-boy left his hand near hers for a moment, and she didn't pull away. Then their eyes met, and they paused, leaning in slightly. Then Meghan looked down, gave a rather silly little giggle, and they both laughed. iYou should have KISSED him, you dip!/i she raged, silently cursing herself. Pizza-boy thought very strongly that now would be a good time to pick her up, put her in his car, and take her to dinner somewhere. Instead, he dropped the pizza again. "Oops."  
Meghan laughed. "That's adorable."  
He decided not to be shy. "iYou're/i adorable."  
"Can I have your number?" They both asked at the same time, then laughed again. "I want yours," said Meghan, "Because I'm not staying at home right now."  
He was glad to oblige.  
"Are we being stupid, and impetuous, and acting on impulse?" She asked. "I mean, we're strangers. And this is... Weird."  
"I know, but I don't care. My name is Kevin, I'm a vegetarian too, I think you're wonderful, and there, now we're not strangers anymore." He looked hopefully at her. She smiled, and they started talking.  
~~~~~~  
"Pippin! What d'you think you're doing?" Casey demanded, turning off the shower. "Ugh, there's water all over the floor."  
"Sorry," he told her with puppy dog eyes. She sighed.  
"It's alright. Just go. out. of this room."  
"OK!" he chirped and skipped out. Shaking her head she grabbed a towel and began drying the floor. Only then did she notice Legolas standing there, soaked from the waist up.  
"What happened to you?"  
"That. thing." He pointed to the shower. "Meghan told me to wait and she's show me how to dry my hair with a blow or something."  
"Right. Give me your shirt and go upstairs and wait for her in my bedroom. Top of the stairs, first door on the right." He blinked at her. "What? D'you think I'm going to steal your clothes and leave you? Your shirt's soaked. I'm just going to dry it." With reluctance, he gave her the shirt and went upstairs.  
~~~~~~~~  
"I can't believe you like classical guitar too!" Meghan told Pizza-boy. "Every other guy only likes bass or electric."  
Just then, Legolas leaned far out of Casey's open bedroom window. Shirtless. And god-knows-what-else-less. "Come on Meghan! I'm waiting for you in the bedroom. You said you'd show me what a blow job is!"  
"bDRYER/b, Greenleaf! Blow bdryer/b." She turned to Pizza-boy. "I have to go. Bye Kevin!" She ran inside, vowing to kill Legolas if she could get away with it. Maybe she could frame Gimli.  
She stamped up the stairs, and noticed that Legolas (thankfully) was clothes from the waist down. She spaced out for a second, wondering if she honestly icould/i frame the dwarf.  
"Meghan?" Legolas had stepped forward, leaning over her.  
"You're dripping on me."  
"Sorry." He rubbed his wet hair and shivered. "Uh. are you mad at me?"  
She paused, then threw up her hands. "Did you see that pizza guy? He was bCUTE!/b You're an idiot! Now sit." She shoved him into a chair, and pushed the blow dryer into his hand. "Hold it over your hair." She turned it on.  
He screamed.  
Casey came running into the room. "What was that?!" Legolas was backed into a corner, staring wild-eyed at the hair dryer.  
"Why don't you handle this, Casey?" suggested Meghan sweetly, then promptly left the room, muttering something nasty.  
"Thanks ever so much!" Casey yelled after her. Then she turned on the hairdryer. Legolas yelped.  
"I don't trust it," he stated flatly.  
"It's a simple concept, iGreenleaf/i," she mocked and stuck out her tongue at him.  
"Don't call me that."  
"Fine. Anyway, hot air just blows through it and dries your hair faster. It's perfectly safe, I promise. Just comb through you hair and blow on it. Just don't hold it in one place to long. Got it?"  
"No. Is Meghan going to kill me?"  
"Possibly."  
"Wonderful."  
"Hey, I though you elves were all special and above sarcasm."  
He ignored this. "Why is she going to kill me?"  
"How should I know???" She threw up her hands in exasperation. "She talks to trees. Who knows why she does anything."  
"She talks to trees?" He looked unconvinced.  
"It's only a problem if they start talking back, I think."  
He nodded. "Maybe I should talk to her?"  
"If you want your eyes clawed out. No, don't blow it that way. You don't want a mohawk." She took the dryer from him and started combing his hair downwards.  
"What is a blow job anyway?" he asked curiously.  
"Umm, do you hear that?" she asked suddenly.  
He blinked. "Hear what? I hear nothing."  
"Exactly. I think I better check on Merry and Pippin." With a worried look on her face, she walked quickly out of the room.  
Merry and Pippin ambushed her at the bottom of the basement stairs. "We're buREALLY/u/b hungry!" they announced.  
"Oh, right, sorry. Wait here," she told them. She ran upstairs, pulled out every plate and threw a piece of pizza on everyone. She walked to the top of the stairs and bellowed, "Food!"  
The hobbits came flying up the stairs so fast they almost knocked her over. They grabbed some plates and ran into the dining room. Casey was standing there looking bewildered when she noticed Elrohir trying to sneak into the kitchen. "Hungry?" She grinned at him.  
He laughed and nodded. "I was afraid if I came too late those four would have eaten everything."  
Within five minutes everyone was squished at the dining room table eating. The doorbell rang.  
"I'll get it!" Meghan announced. She ran to the door. "Kevin! Hit! You're still here?"  
"Yeah." He looked lonely and forlorn out there, alone. (A/N . Sob. Sob. Poor Kevvie.)  
"Why don't you come in and eat with us?"  
"Sure!" He eagerly agreed.  
Meghan led the way down the hall, talking. Casey met her at the hall. "Yes. You can't come in here," she told Kevin. He stared at her. "My cat don't like strangers," she lied obviously.  
"Are there other people here?" he asked, catching the general hum of conversation from the dining room.  
"Nope. There's NO OTHER PEOPLE HERE!" Casey yelled, shoving Kevin and Meghan out the door. She walked back to the dining room.  
"Who was that?" Haldir asked.  
"The hot Pizza-boy. Man, she is uso/u far gone."  
"Gone?"  
"Yeah. You know, gone; lost; head-over-heels; I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby; deeply, madly, passionately in love."  
"I'm sure she's not in love," he mumbled to his plate.  
"Is that jealously I detect in that superior above-trivial-emotions elvish heart of yours?" Casey asked Haldir.  
Legolas frowned. "How can she be in love? She only just met him."  
"You people are so iLITERAL/i! I'm sure she's not actually in love. Not yet anyway." She grinned, laughing to herself at Haldir who was still staring at his plate. "Besides, did you see him? He was igorgeous/i. And he was blonde. She's like, in love with blondes."  
"But she bshouldn't/b be attracted to him. She should be-" He cut himself off. "Never mind."  
Right then Meghan came bouncing back in. "I got his phone number!" she squealed. Then she looked around. "Why's everyone so quiet?" Meghan blinked. "This is bothering me. Start talking."  
"So, uh, how about them knicks?" Casey asked lamely.  
"If that's the best you can do, then never mind," Meghan told her. "Pass the damn pizza." She looked into the box. "It's. empty." She gave up. "All of you better stay the hell out of living room." And walked away, obviously annoyed.  
"Um, right." Casey said awkwardly. "So, uh, has everyone had enough?" Everyone nodded, except Pippin and Merry, who were shaking their heads, but abruptly started nodding when Gandalf looked pointedly at them.  
"What will we-" began Aragorn but he was interrupted by the sound of someone pounding angry chords from the living room on the piano.  
"Oh lord, not Beethoven," Casey sighed. "I think we got her mad."  
There was a brief break in the music. "Ya THINK?" Came an annoyed snap.  
Everyone looked at Casey who shrugged. "Well, right now we have two choices. We could. uh." she struggles. "Okay, so maybe we don't. Anyone have any sudden flashes of inspiration, let me know, okay?"  
Another break in the music. "Why don't you put the children to bed?!" yelled Meghan in a less-than-flattering tone. "If you think that you can trust them not to break the beds along with everything else in the house."  
Haldir looked pained.  
"Bed. Yes. Great. Meghan, get your sulking ass in here and find the hobbits a bed!" Casey yelled. A series of inarticulate noises came from the other room, and a very ugly discord. Casey winced. "My poor piano." she mourned.  
Meghan appeared. "Okay, hobbits. UP! UP!" She clapped her hands at them, glaring at Casey and the others as she did.  
"You're well aware that I decidedly dislike you right now, right?" she asked of no one in particular. Having failed to evict a response, she marched the hobbits ruthlessly from the room. "Left! Left! Left, right, left!" she bellowed and the five of them marched up the stairs.  
"Great," Casey groaned.  
"Well, she's going to be a lot of fun to be with," Boromir supplied.  
"Yeah. You aren't going to share a room with her," Casey retorted. Just then, something heavy bounced down the stairs.  
"That'll be you-if you don't stop talking about me!" Meghan screamed.  
"How did she hear what I said?" Casey asked.  
"I'm psychic!"  
"Oh yeah! You can read my thoughts. I love-"  
"-Your ovaries!" This was followed by insane giggling from the two of them.  
Meghan bounded down the stairs. She grabbed Haldir, Glorfindel and Legolas (don't ask me how she grabbed all three. She just did.) and dragged them into the guest room. "You're sleeping in here!" she chirped, happy once more.  
Aragorn and Boromir looked confused. "Don't mind her. She's manic," Casey explained. It didn't help. She grabbed the twins. "Come one. You'll sleep in my parent's room."  
Meghan came out of the guest room, laughing, as Casey flew down the stairs. "The rest of you have to sleep in the basement," Meghan told them and they all went downstairs.  
"Right. Gimli, you're sleeping outside," Meghan told him.  
"What?"  
"Yup. Don't worry. It's warm out. Oh, and stay off the patio furniture!" Casey yelled, locking the door behind him.  
"Gandalf, you can sleep on the futon," Meghan told him, pulling it out. "And you two-"  
"We'll keep watch," Boromir said hastily. Casey snorted.  
"From what? The crickets? This neighborhood is the most boring place in the world." Just then, a cricket hopped across the floor. "OK, that was just iweird/i." She looked at them. "Fine. Suit yourselves. But bwe/b are going to bed." She and Meghan left and walked up the stairs to the kitchen WELCOME TO CANADA! It's cold here. Eh? and looked at each other, then burst out in hysterical SONG! No, laugher. (A/N love Meghan: I could NOT resist. Sorry.)  
"I'm hungry," Meghan announced.  
"Oh, shut up. If you hadn't of been so hungry earlier then we wouldn't be here crammed with a house of fictional characters." They went to bed.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
And just because I want to- a few notes to the reviewers! (No, I'm NOT being sarcastic in any of these. I can see potential hurt feelings. I'm serious!)  
"Me"- Glad to know you think it's "god." :P Are you worshiping the story now? Go ahead, I think it's a much better religion than some I could name. Hee.  
  
???- I noticed that. However, just for the joy of being obstinate, I'm still using html tags in hopes that the html Fairy will come along and make everything better.  
  
Legolas Stalker Tay- The ONLY reason I updated was because you asked. You are SPECIAL.  
  
Melisa-malfoy- My ultimate goal in life is to get a two-word review from you. Indulge me?  
  
Tough Cookie- I feel so. so. special! You read my story! Hooray!  
  
Weasleytwinslover1112- Because I'm a terrible brat and resent the pretty people. Wouldn't you? Actually, it's to get away from the "Oh, Legolas, I love you! Here, let me feed you grapes and worship you and have your baby and buy you brand name clothes and..." Thing. I hate conformity.  
  
Megan- Dammit! I'm going to kick you the next time I see you. When do we have band next? You're getting smacked with a flute! Dude, leave me my foibles. I happen to LIKE inconsistancy in a story! Adds to the readers enjoyment! ... Or I'm lazy. You pick.  
  
Erenriel the Elven Canuck: I-laughed-so-hard- when I saw that name. I LOVE it!  
  
Yeah, I'm done now! I'll shut up. 


	11. yay!

Disclaimer: Uuungh. HERE.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
***THREE HOURS LATER***  
  
Casey rolled over and poked Meghan, who was splayed out on the end of her bed.  
  
"Meghan!" Poke. "Meghan! Are you asleep??"  
  
"NO. Wait. YES."  
  
"Oh. Well, I think we should go check on the. people. Just. cause."  
  
"No. Wait, do I have to get up?"  
  
"Just a little bit, yes."  
  
"Then, NO." She rolled over and curled up into a ball. Casey considered this for a few seconds, then promptly shoved her friend off the bed.  
  
"Ow! The BLOODY HELL are you doing?!?"  
  
"Since you're up Ianyways/I," breezed Casey, ignoring her, "Why don't we go check on the hobbits and the other. things."  
  
Meghan got stiffly to her feet. "I hate you."  
  
"I know! Now, c'mon. They've been quiet for almost four hours now. That worries me."  
  
They walked into Patrick's bedroom, where the hobbits were sleeping. They were a mass of tangled sheets.  
  
"How can they Isleep/I like that?" Casey wondered aloud.  
  
"One. two. three. -wait, where's Merry?" Megan asked.  
  
"I don't know. I'm sure he's in there somewhere. Anyway, they're all in a very deep sleep. It's all good." They left the room to check on Elladan and Elrohir across the hall.  
  
"Yep. They're fine," Meghan announced.  
  
"They're so cute," Casey cooed. The two of them trooped downstairs. They went into the guest room to check on the other three elves. Haldir and Glorfindel were stretched out on the guest bed contentedly.  
  
Legolas, on the other hand was quite uncomfortable. Meghan had made him sleep on the cot, which wasn't anywhere bnear/b big enough for him. Although his head was as far up as it could go, from his knees down his legs were off the bed. A very small blanket stretched from his knees to his chest. He was staring up at the ceiling, muttering what was presumably curses at Meghan.  
  
"Hi!" Casey chirped. He sat up straight, then relaxed as he realized it was only them.  
  
"That's a good way to get yourself killed," he commented dryly.  
  
"Comfy?" Meghan asked with slight contempt in her voice.  
  
"Very," he replied sardonically. "Thank you for caring so much about my well being. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go back to sleep." He lay back down and ignored them.  
  
"What is with the sarcastic elves?" Casey asked as they left the room. At the bottom of the basement stairs they nearly tripped over Merry, who was curled up in a ball on the platform.  
  
"Ok, I guess he Iwasn't/I in his bed," Casey decided.  
  
"What should we do with him?" Meghan asked, nudging him with her foot.  
  
"I don't know," Casey answered. Right then Gandalf walked out into the hall. He saw Merry lying there in a ball and sighed. Shaking his head he walked away again.  
  
"Let's just wake him up and go back to bed," Meghan suggested. "We know Gandalf's fine and Aragorn and Boromir are wake. And Gimli. whatever. Who cares?"  
  
"OK," Casey agreed, yawning. The nudged Merry until he woke up, put him back in Patrick's bed with the other hobbits and then went to bed themselves.  
  
When Casey woke up the next morning, Meghan was gone. She figured she was eating and went to take a shower.  
  
She came back wrapped in a towel with another one in her hair. She was just about to switch the towel for clothes when she noticed four hobbits sitting on her bed. "What are you doing in here?" she yelled. "Get out! Out, out, bOUT/b!" She chased them out, shutting and locking the door. She leaned against the door and screamed. Very, very loudly. It was followed by the sound of many feet on the stairs. "Oops." She grabbed a pair of white linen pants from the closet and hauled them on quickly.  
  
"I can't get the door open!" Elrohir called.  
  
"I know! Wait a minute!" She hauled on a red peasant top (which, coincidently, Meghan had given her) and opened the door. Just about everyone burst into the room.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing!"  
  
"Then why did you scream?"  
  
"Exasperation." She looked around. "Where's Meghan?"  
  
"She left. She wanted to get more clothes, I think."  
  
"Left?"  
  
"Yes. But don't worry. We sent Haldir with her, so she won't be attacked or killed or anything. She's perfectly safe."  
  
"She IbLEFT/I/b?!?" Casey demanded again, not especially caring about Meghan's personal safety.  
  
"Yes," he repeated, speaking as though she were a small child.  
  
"You mean she left me here. Alone. With all of you?" She stomped across the hall and grabbed the cordless phone. "I'm going to kill her! Wait. Did you say she went with IHaldir/I?"  
  
(Niko) Honestly, I wouldn't normally end the chapter here, but that's the entirety of what we've got typed up so far. Go us! Or, more accurately, go Casey, who does the typing. And will be, whether she's aware of it or not. Buah hah. 


	12. In Which There is Much Stuff Happening

** Casey's been having an apoplectic fit over not getting to write any author's notes, and since she's TYPED the ruddy thing, she deserves it. Plus she writes better, plus this is her computer. So Cas, hun, eat your heart out and shut up about the bracelets.**  
  
**Meghan's the better writer. HA! (Meghan: shut up!) Who do YOU think is the better writer?? Never mind the fact that you can't tell who wrote what. That is SO not the point. (Shut up. Yes it is) No, it's not! Ignore my other half there. Disclaimer (because Meghan said so. And because we kind of, you know, forgot): We've kind of ignored Bilbo. (Meghan: kind of?? Try totally) Oh shut up. That's not even a disclaimer. Now for the REAL disclaimer: We do not own (Meghan: Casey, remember to list them before this is uploaded). All we own is a blonde dog, ourselves, the picnic basket (not really), a couple songs that we've kind of written or at least, have changed for our use, Meghan's battered guitar, my clarinet gun, a SKI hat, and Meghan's equally battered bike. And Patrick, but we're giving him away. In fact, I'll pay you to take him away. (Meghan: IT. Your brother is an IT.) Oh yes, and I'm engaged to Meghan's boyfriend. How handy. I don't know if that really means we own him, but sure. And you know, it's all good because I'm engaged to Meghan too! (Meghan: yay!) Oh yeah. And we own incense too. (Meghan: iwhat?/i)Shhhhhhh. I do have incense. Hav, hov, what????  
  
Kindly reader who translates our story title into elvish (we love youuuuuuuuuu!): Could you kindly tell us how to say 'Is the sky blue or grey' in elvish? It is relevant, really. (Meghan: It's a plot contrivance).  
  
I love your ovaries Kat!! **  
  
And now, our feature presentation!**  
  
Casey dialed Meghan's phone number. "Hey Merry," she called him over.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hold this until somebody says 'Hello'. Then give it to me."  
  
"Ok," he agreed. Casey went and brushed out her hair until she heard Merry scream and the clunk of the dropping phone. Rolling her eyes, she ran out and grabbed the phone.  
  
"Meghan?"  
  
"Oh. Hi Casey."  
  
"I can't believe you left me here, alone, with all of them."  
  
"Sorry," she replied although Casey could tell she really wasn't. "I'm leaving now. We'll be back in 15, maybe 20 minutes. Bye!" The phone clicked off.  
  
"Um, I'm hungry," Merry whined. Casey sighed, went downstairs and tripled a recipe for waffles. Just as the first one was finished, Meghan and Haldir walked in the door. Meghan was wearing jeans and a plain shirt with cap sleeves and lined with lace at the edges.  
  
"Yum, it smells good," Meghan told her. They all crowded into the dining room and ate. "Ok, we're going to have to get you guys some more. modern clothes," Meghan announced when they had finished.  
  
"Yeah, well, there's one small issue here. I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly rolling in cash right now. I mean, Gandalf could probably fit into my dad's clothes and Craig probably left some clothes here that Gimli could fit into, but for the rest of them."  
  
Meghan pondered this for a moment. "Gandalf, can you reproduce things?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, like, if I gave you a piece of say, paper, could you make lots of copies of the same paper?"  
  
"But what's a piece of paper going to-oooh," Casey smiled as she caught on.  
  
"Yes I can," Gandalf told them.  
  
"Great. Casey, do you have a $20 bill?"  
  
"Yeah, just a second." She ran upstairs and came back down a few seconds later.  
  
"We need about. 50 copies of these," Meghan told Gandalf, passing him the bill. While he went to do that, Casey went to her brother's room and found a pair of pants and a shirt belonging to Craig, her brother's best friend. She gave them to Gimli and made him go put them on.  
  
"He can stay, and so can Gandalf, but we still shouldn't take the rest of them together. They don't exactly blend in." Meghan said, smiling ruefully.  
  
"Well, let's split them up and take them to separate malls. And separate places for lunch. I DON'T want to cook for them again," Casey suggested.  
  
"Great," Meghan agreed. "I'll take Pippin, Aragorn, Boromir, Haldir and. Elladan."  
  
"What? You're going to leave me with most of the hobbits and most of the elves?" Aragorn had entered the room just in time to hear Casey's last comment. He smirked at her. "Ok, I swear to God, if you don't get the goddamned smirk off your face, I will WIPE it off myself," she blew up at him. He left the room quickly. "Maybe they'll cancel each other out?" She turned to Meghan hopelessly.  
  
Soon Gandalf came out with 50 $20 bills. Casey and Meghan each took 25. Gandalf stayed behind to try and figure out what was going on. Gimli stayed simply because neither girl was willing to take him. Casey went to the closer mall while Meghan went across the highway to the other. Casey sighed as the air conditioning washed over her.  
  
"Wow," Elrohir gasped, looking around. Casey smacked him on the arm.  
  
"Your ignorance is showing. Try to act like you're used to places like this," she hissed at them. She led the way to Thrifty's. Thankfully, the mall was relatively empty. The Thrifty's employees looked up surprised at the odd group. Casey, however, ignored them and headed for the guy's section. "Hmm," she muttered, looking at the clothes and comparing them to the people she was clothing.  
  
"What are we looking for?" asked Legolas.  
  
"Shh, my creative juices are flowing," she admonished. He and Elrohir exchanged confused looks but remained silent. Finally Casey grabbed a pair of baggy jeans and a tight green t-shirt and sent Elrohir to try them on. She gave Legolas and Glorfindel similar outfits. She gave the hobbits cargo shorts rather than pants.  
  
Casey was sitting outside the dressing rooms when she heard someone calling her name. She spun around. "Molly! Hi!" Right then Merry started to come out. Casey jumped up, pushed him back in and slammed the door.  
  
"Who was that?" Molly asked.  
  
"Huh? Who? Oh, ah. nobody, nobody at all." Casey looked slightly sick.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Oh! Fine. Wonderful. Peachy. Great. Lovely!"  
  
"Right." Molly left, shaking her head. Casey collapsed on the seat and Merry came out. His feet were invisible under the shorts that ended a few inches behind him.  
  
"They don't quite fit," he announced and went back in. Right after, Elrohir came out.  
  
"I think we need a couple sizes smaller," he said, indicating the pants that hung low on his hips.  
  
"Oh no, that's the style," Casey assured him.  
  
"You're not dressed like this," he pointed out.  
  
"For guys, I meant," she added lamely. Elrohir looked around.  
  
"You don't seem to be doing too well in the style for girls either," he retorted. "I'm assuming that's the girls section over there?" He was mocking her.  
  
Casey scowled at him. Then she grinned. "Fine. You want to be an individual too? Oops, I mean, a freak."  
  
***And now, what I call, an Ode to Haldir (this is not original)***  
  
We love you, Haldir  
Oh yes we do  
We don't love anyone  
As much as you  
When you're not with us  
We're blue!  
  
Oh Haldir we love you!  
(Yes we do!)  
  
This was written in the margin by me (Casey) to amuse Meighan. Let's kill  
Peter Jackson! He killed poor Haldir. Not to mention getting rid of the  
twins and giving Glorfindel's part, and horse, to Arwen. His horse!  
  
***And now, back to our story*** (A/N from Meg; That was KYLE'S SONG originally. We broke into his house in a quest for hot chocolate. Or, more accurately, I went in and Casey very nervously informed me that he wasn't there and that he had just gone by in a car. And we would also serenade him with it. Until his little sister gave  
us all his hallowe'en candies to make us be gone.)  
  
None of the shorts came close to fitting the hobbits, and Legolas looked terrible so Casey decided to try another store. They were all sitting around waiting for Glorfindel.  
  
"Hurry up," Elrohir called.  
  
Glorfindel stepped out. Surprisingly, he looked really good in baggy black jeans and a dark blue t-shirt.  
  
"Who new an elf could pull off punk?" Casey asked nobody in particular. She went and bought the outfit, along with some other t-shirts and then dragged them to Winner's.  
  
She went to the jr. boys section and managed to find some decent clothes (sans Batman) that would (she hoped) fit the hobbits. She turned Elrohir loose to pick out his own clothes, and then went to find Legolas something. She found a pair of khaki cargo pants and a forest green shirt, with a lighter green over shirt.  
  
They all met at the dressing room. Elrohir had a pair of black pants, a tight black t-shirt, and a deep blue over shirt with short sleeves.  
  
"Um, can I go in with them?" Casey asked.  
  
"Nope, sorry. They're guys and you're not." The girl snapped her gum.  
  
"Really? I wasn't aware of that," Casey muttered. "But I really, REALLY need to go with them."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"They need my help. Fashion wise."  
  
"Looks like you could use some help too," the girl told her looking her over.  
  
Casey smiled sugary sweet. "Look, can I just stand here and they can come out when they're done?" The girl shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes."  
  
After she had bought the stuff, Casey took them to Pizza Hut. They slid into a circular booth. Merry slumped against the seat as Bob!, their water, bought breadsticks for an appetizer, eyeing them cautiously.  
  
When Bob! had left, Casey turned to Merry. "What's wrong?" she demanded. "You've been quiet all day. It's scary." He pouted, ignoring the breadsticks.  
  
"I don't see why you had to separate me and Pippin. I miss him."  
  
"Honestly," Sam snorted, munching on a breadstick. "Here, try one of these. It'll cheer you up!"  
  
Merry sniffed. "It reminds me of Pippin," he whined, holding a breadstick and eyes filling with tears. Casey was very worried, and even Frodo found it unusual. He's had no idea his cousins were THAT close. (c A/N: PLATONIC, DAMN YOU!!)  
  
"If you really want, you can go find Meghan. I think she was taking them to a veggie place," Casey told him. Right then, with perfect timing, Bob! brought a steaming hot pizza with bacon, mushrooms, and extra cheese. Merry sat up straight.  
  
"Forget Pippin! There's pizza!" He helped himself to a huge slice.  
  
***And now, for a distraction***  
  
I'm writing you a message. I don't know why, I just am. Brought to you by Casey, while she was sitting in His11, writing, bored out  
of her mind, and decided to write Meighan a random note.  
  
***Distracted you, didn't I? (Good job) ***  
  
In the other mall, Meghan handed Aragorn an over shirt. "Here, try this one. Just pull it over your shirt," Meghan told him. She was picking out another one when she heard Molly say hi. Meghan quickly pulled Aragorn's shirt over his head. He began bumping into things.  
  
"Who's that?" Molly asked. "He looks kind of like Aragorn from the movies."  
  
"Oh! That's my. uncle! Yeah, uncle. Uncle Ara-rat! Yeah, that's it. Good old Uncle Ararat."  
  
"Isn't that a Middle Eastern name?"  
  
"Yes. Yes it is. Actually, I'm half Middle Eastern."  
  
Molly looked at her skeptically. "Are you feeling alright?"  
  
"Fine!" Meghan practically yelled, stopping Aragorn from knocking over a rack of pants.  
  
"First Casey, now you," said Molly, shaking her blonde head. "I think the whole world is going insane." She left and Meghan uncovered Aragorn.  
  
"What was that for?" he demanded.  
  
"I couldn't let her see you. She would have recognized you right away," Meghan answered without thinking.  
  
"Why should she recognize me?" he asked, eyes narrowed. Meghan suddenly realized what she's said.  
  
"Because of that beautiful smile! Who wouldn't recognize it?" she spluttered.  
  
"I'm not smiling," he growled. But before he could demand a better explanation, they heard Pippin shriek and raced off to find him.  
  
Pippin had managed to, somehow, get his head caught in a hanger. Meghan sighed, disentangled his hair, and had him looking quite presentable in a blue hooded sweater with some type of graffiti on the front. He was also wearing a pair of khaki cargo pants that were only slightly too long for him. He looked cute.  
  
In the same store she had gotten Aragorn a tank top and loose grey over shirt and dark blue jeans. She had figured that the two could get away with that 'look'. The elves and Boromir were a different matter, however.  
  
After checking her funds, she paid for the clothes and told the three oddly dressed ones to walk behind the. normal ones.  
  
"Where are we going?" Haldir asked her. They were walking through the mall to get to a menswear store.  
  
"To get clothes. Duh."  
  
"Oh." He looked disappointed. She stopped, grabbed his arm and blinked.  
  
"I need you to do me a favour. The person the shop will never talk to me unless he has to, he'll try to talk to you. I want you and Elladan to talk to me in Elvish, all right? And pretend you don't understand English."  
  
"What do I say?"  
  
She shrugged. "Anything. Erm, when you see a shirt you like, just say. uh. Oh, never mind. You guys don't know fashion. Just DON'T TALK. Okay?"  
  
Boromir looked annoyed. "I don't speak Elvish."  
  
"I had no idea," drawled Haldir. "Simply speak in a different tongue."  
  
"What he said," Meghan agreed, then pointedly told Aragorn and Pippin that they were NOT coming in the store. "Not dressed like that," she said, and then pointed to the bench. "Sit. Stay. And remember," she warned, "I can see the bench from the store. DON'T MOVE," she said by way of a final warning, and, taking Haldir's arm, led the elves inside.  
  
The employee was a thin, emancipated man with a bad complexion who had unsuccessfully tried to grow a beard, but only succeeded in looking frighteningly ugly. He also had a sneer on his face.  
  
As he looked over the group, his gaze slid over Meghan, who was looking very tiny next to the three taller males.  
  
Haldir didn't care at all for his impertinence. Meghan, her hand still clinging to his arm, dug her fingernails into his flesh. He turned to her, and said something fairly unflattering about the salesperson in Elvish.  
  
She stepped forward, noticing the sneer as he affixed his gaze on her.  
  
"And would the gentlemen care to try something on, perhaps?" he suggested nasally. Elladan said something else, in a very snotty tone.  
  
"The gentle. men," said Meghan in a terribly superior tone, her pause before naming them as human barely perceptible, "Do not speak English. We do not require any assistance at the time being. If we need you, we will call for you." Her tone left no question as to the fact that she considered him subordinate.  
  
"Very well." He gave an oily smile and left, fuming. The elves grinned at her, and they set about choosing them outfits.  
  
Boromir ended up with a salmon pink shirt that fitted him and the colour suited him well. She got Elladan a plain, simple black suit and a vivid blue shirt and dark tie. Haldir had a plain suit as well, but a shiny grey shirt and matching tie.  
  
Haldir came out of the changing room with the shirt half buttoned. The pants fitted him well, but he was having trouble with the anti-theft ink button.  
  
Meghan tried not to blush as she moved it to the side and finished buttoning up the shirt. She couldn't help but notice that he smelled very nice. (Hee.) She blushed.  
  
"Why are you blushing?" he asked. (T/N: Subtle, isn't he?)  
  
"I'm not blushing."  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"I just told you I wasn't." Her tone was dangerous.  
  
"All right."  
  
She stood back. "Okay, the shirt fits. Go take it off."  
  
From behind her, Boromir made a snide remark. "Perhaps he wants your help with that."  
  
Haldir's eyes flashed. He leapt at Boromir, shouting in Elvish. Meghan jumped back, annoyed, and, for lack of a better thing to do, kicked Boromir in the face.  
  
Aragorn came rushing in, and grabbed the fallen human. Elladan grabbed Haldir and spoke to the irate elf in quiet, commanding tones. Haldir cast a few looks of resentment at Boromir, then ignored his existence.  
  
The salesman appeared. "Is everything all right?" he asked, clearly worried that they were insane.  
  
"The colour of the shirt disagreed with him," said Aragorn. Boromir's nose was bleeding.  
  
"Don't bleed on the shirt," muttered Meghan, and went to pay for the clothing.  
  
They walked out of the changing room and stood at the counter as Meghan paid. Haldir was muttering nastily.  
  
"Excuse me, but what language is that?" the salesman asked, holding their purchases ransom.  
  
"Uh. German."  
  
"That's. funny. My mother spoke German, and it sounded nothing like that."  
  
She blinked. "It's an obscure dialect. Thank YOU." She grabbed the bags and they left.  
  
After that, Meghan insisted that she wanted new clothes too. After she had settled the humans and elves down at a table in a local café, she dragged Pippin off to a girl's clothes store.  
  
"Why ME?" he had protested, wanting to sit and eat the biscotti. Meghan giggled.  
  
"You're the most normal looking, aside from the height. You can pretend to be my little brother. Look adorable!" He complied.  
  
Meghan was browsing idly through a rack of shirts when Pippin ran up, holding an outfit. "Try this!" he ordered. Meghan looked at it. It was a pleated, knee-length, red, plaid skirt, and a black lace-up vest. He handed her a white collared shirt, too, to wear under the vest.  
  
Meghan looked at it dubiously. "Um."  
  
"Just try it!" he insisted. She shrugged and did so.  
  
"Wow!" she said a few minutes later. "You have insanely good taste!" He nodded modestly.  
  
"I know!" He handed her a white lacey skirt and a red tank top. She squealed.  
  
She bought both outfits, and a matching lace skirt and darker red tank top for Casey, who would love it.  
  
Pippin looked pleased with himself. Meghan, delighted, kissed his forehead and promised him lunch.  
  
After collecting the remaining members of her group and chasing off a few ogling girls, she took them to a vegetarian restaurant for lunch, after which they headed home.  
  
***More notes! Don't ask why. Please. ***  
  
When does ______ disappear? When ___ goes to _________? Or after ________?  
Oh, and we're ______ 'tomorrow' because 'tonight' is when ______ does  
_______. Wheeeeeeeeeee  
  
The blanks are state secrets (despite the fact that we live in provinces) that you can't know. Should you find out, we'd have to kill you. (A/N WITH  
OUR CLARINET GUNS! BOOM. Sorry. ~Meg) Die.  
  
*** Yeeees ***  
  
When Meghan and her group got back, Casey was already home.  
  
"You look terrible," she told her as Meghan collapsed in a nearby chair, exhausted.  
  
"I am NEVER doing that again," Meghan insisted.  
  
"Really? I had fun!" Casey stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Don't worry. Hopefully you won't have to."  
  
"Has Gandalf figured out what's happening yet?"  
  
Casey shook her head. "No. But I'm willing to bet it has something to do with that Arwen thing."  
  
"Probably," Meghan agreed.  
  
"Oh!" Casey added. "I think we have to do something about Merry and Pippin. Merry was like, suffering from separation anxiety. But then I gave him pizza." Meghan burst out laughing. Pippin fell down the stairs.  
  
"I'm hungry!" he announced.  
  
"You're ALWAYS hungry," Casey moaned. "I'm running out of food." She sighed and went upstairs to try and find something to eat.  
  
A few hours later, they were all sitting in the basement. Meghan and Casey, in their pajamas, were teaching everyone to play Monopoly. Haldir was winning, and being very unelvish about it.  
  
"I TOLD you we should have taught them Trivial Pursuit," Casey told Meghan. "We would have won that." Everyone was engrossed in the game, and Meghan looked down the hall that led to the back door. Then, in the far window that opened on the hill, she saw a pair of feet go by. Freaked out, she looked at Casey. The terrified look on her face told her that Casey had seen it too.  
  
"Probably just someone cutting across your yard," Meghan tried to reassure her. But she couldn't shake the creepy feeling that it was more than that. Then, at the same time, she and Casey both looked at the window behind them. There, mirrored back at them, was Arwen's face but with glaring red eyes and a look so evil that Meghan went cold. 


	13. In Which More Stuff Occurs

Meghan: Please, please forgive. Yes, it's LATE. Inexcusably, in fact. But I can sum it all up in a few+ words: Computer crash, new kitten, jazz camp, new boyfriend, and a guitar. And Casey was on a vacation. It's my fault; blame me. I love you! I also promise to update again on Tuesday, then regularly for the rest of summer. Hee.  
  
Casey screamed and jumped up, knocking over the game board. Meghan just stared at the window where, although it was gone, she could still see the face.  
  
"What is it?" Legolas demanded of Casey.  
  
Haldir grabbed Meghan by the shoulders. "Look at me," he ordered. She snapped her eyes away from the window.  
  
"It was that thing, like Arwen," she told them. Haldir looked up grimly.  
  
"I think we should all stay here for the rest of the night," Gandalf told them. Casey curled up in a corner, shivering.  
  
Everyone was on edge. Elrohir came over and sat beside Casey. "Are you alright?" he asked her. She shook her head.  
  
"No. My whole life I've been terrified of seeing somebody in those windows." Unwilling, her eyes moved to the closer window. "Ok, somebody has to cover that bloody thing up now," she announced.  
  
"It's all right," he assured her. "You'll be fine." He didn't add that, had she wanted to, 'Arwen' would have probably been able to come right in.  
  
"No. You don't understand. You HAVE to cover it up. Otherwise I'll start seeing things out there and become a complete paranoid mess. Worse than I am now." Cautiously Elrohir got up and closed the curtains. Then he went over to speak with Glorfindel and Aragorn. Casey leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to think happy thoughts. She nearly jumped a mile when Legolas tapped her shoulder. "Jesus Christ! Are you TRYING to give me a heart attack?" she demanded.  
  
"Sorry," he answered. "I just wanted to give you this. I figured you and Meghan should be somewhat armed." He handed her a dagger. Casey glanced over and saw Meghan examining its twin. Meghan was frowning.  
  
"I'm not sure either of us have any idea how to use these, by the way," Casey commented, after thanking Legolas.  
  
"I can," said Meghan. Casey looked at her, and Legolas looked surprised. "Not at your level, or anything," she added quickly. "But I've had fencing lessons. I can hold my own. I hope."  
  
Aragorn nodded approvingly. "And you?" he asked Casey. She made a sort of squeak and dropped it. He snatched his foot away just in time, and Casey apologized meekly. "Maybe I'd better teach you the basics," he suggested. Casey nodded fervently, and dropped the long knife again.  
  
"Oops."  
  
Right after Meghan had seen that pale and lifeless face glaring with such intense hatred, her mind had gone curiously blank. The darkness in the absence of the cruel face seemed to draw her in, and she couldn't bring herself to tear away.  
  
She slammed back to reality when Haldir grabber her by the shoulders and shook her, the concern on his face clearly visible.  
  
When, a few minutes later, Legolas kneeled down beside her, she smiled a shaky smile at him. He looked surprised. Then he handed her his two knives. She looked at him blankly. "You need to protect yourself," he explained. She nodded.  
  
"Give one to Casey. And Legolas-" she put her hand on his shoulder as he rose. "Thanks." He nodded and went to talk quietly with Casey.  
  
After they had sorted out that Casey needed to be taught and Casey had gone off with Aragorn to learn. stuff, Meghan asked Legolas if he'd show her how to use the shorter knife. He looked surprised that she was being nice, but readily agreed.  
  
Gandalf was sitting amongst the hobbits, ignoring them until Merry asked him to tell them a story. He looked down in surprise. "A story, Master Meriadoc?" Merry and the other hobbits nodded eagerly.  
  
The elves assembled sat forward, listening as Gandalf began a long, winding and humorous tale about pipe weed and the effects of smoking too much of it.  
  
When Casey came back a little later, slightly capable of defending herself, the hobbits were curled up together, asleep. She was glad to see they were quite content. Everyone else, however, was still on edge. Meghan and Legolas were still somewhere else.  
  
"Feeling better?" Elrohir asked from behind her shoulder. She jumped, but managed to keep from screaming.  
  
"Damn elves." She glared at him. "Could you TRY to make more noise? What d'you have to sneak up on me for?" Elrohir looked amused.  
  
"Do you think you can manage to defend yourself now?" he asked. She glanced down at the knife (which was pointed the wrong way) and shrugged.  
  
"I think I'd have more confidence if Aragorn wasn't being so careful to stay at least four meters away from me." Elrohir laughed. After a while, his laughter subsided and he looked at her. "What?" she asked, a little confused at his sudden change of moods. He looked seriously at her.  
  
"If you need someone to protect you. well." he fidgeted. "I. I will. Protect you, that is."  
  
Her face cleared in sudden understanding. "Oh, that's so sweet!" she squeaked and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him gladly.  
  
At that moment, a subtle (yeah, right) cough from Meghan told her of her friend's presence in the room and she broke away from Elrohir in a hurry.  
  
"Oh. yeah. right. uh."  
  
"I think we should put the hobbits to bed," Meghan said, sending Casey a wicked grin. "Gandalf's been telling them stories about pipe weed and they're getting all nostalgic."  
  
"Okay," Casey readily agreed. Then she looked at Meghan again. "Did you know your cheek is bleeding?" she asked. Meghan felt along her lower jaw.  
  
"Still?"  
  
Casey blinked. "How.?" she began.  
  
"Legolas. Don't let him near any sharp objects. He slipped." She winced.  
  
Elrohir was listening. "He. missed? Legolas? He MISSED?" His look was incredulous. "I have to go speak with him." He hurried off.  
  
Meghan blinked. "Well, I mean, we were fighting fairly fast. It is understandable. And he did apologize." Her tone, however, betrayed the fact that she was worried. Casey gave her an understanding hug and the two of them shared a worried glance.  
  
"Elves don't miss." Casey trailed off. "He hasn't been eating much either." she added. Meghan looked sad. "Maybe he just has a cold," Casey said hopefully, realizing Meghan felt guilty about being mean to him. She nodded, though she didn't look very hopeful. They both knew elves didn't get sick.  
  
"Maybe." she said doubtfully, then shook her head and yelled down the hall, "Hobbits! Bed! Now!"  
  
There was a profoundly unfriendly silence. Then, one by one, they stalked their way upstairs. Soon after came the others, and Gimli, who had decided to sleep under the table. The elves were to keep watch that night. Knowing that, the girls felt a lot safer.  
  
They made their way up to Casey's bedroom and settled into bed, not really talking.  
  
Casey slid her knife into the scabbard and laid in on her dresser. Then she thought the better of it and put it under her pillow. Meghan, watching this, gave her a wan smile and sat down, her knife lying on the bed beside her. The girls shared another grim look, then Casey decidedly closed and locked her windows, trying as she did so not to look outside. Meghan, always an idiot, did look.  
  
"Anything?"  
  
"Dark. So no."  
  
"Peachy keen."  
  
At that moment, a peal of thunder sounded, and a splatter of heavy rain.  
  
"Yeah. Bloody, peachy keen," muttered Meghan, and rolled into bed, pulling the covers over her head and refusing to talk anymore.  
  
*cough* I know we're totally undeserving, but... uh... review? 


End file.
